The vicious circle of „guilt and inertia“, and some ideas for taking action


Sorry, German-speaking readers … I’m still/once more in English mode.
And I apologize there’s no consistency regarding the language that I post in. My blog evolves in a very non-linear fashion – just as my life does. I’m non-linear, I’m not consistent, and I certainly DO NOT make sense. Like – having breakfast IN FRONT OF THE TV many mornings after 2 hours of Yoga?;)
Okay, and now on to the important stuff.

I have thought about wise and more holistic ways to view the current situation on our planet and to take action.

First and foremost, I consider myself lucky to have had my personal crisis of meaninglessness about the state of humanity already a few years ago. Of course I do not agree with many things going on now, they worry and concern me. But by now I have gathered personal experience that the worst kind of pain and chaos can be healed. Completely.

But I know it’s hitting many people hard right now. Balances are shifting, reactions to long-forgotten actions have started to kick in, and the very air we’re breathing seems run out.

This is what it is when birth and death approach. There are massive, massive changes rolling on in the consciousness of this planet, and I suggest you jump on the band wagon and help by changing your own consciousness to affect the global one. That’s the easiest, and most complete way, actually.

So now there’s Haiti flooding the news, but what about all the other places and causes that filled the news before that? One of the major areas of my personal introspection these days was how to act as a responsible and educated member of society, and somehow getting on to what is the truth in this situation that is messy way beyond my personal capacity of comprehension.

Is this really about being aware of all the problems around the globe – is this about trying to split our minds into trillions of little pieces of „crisis-awareness“ and spreading them equally across the planet?

In a few weeks, when our newspapers and TVs will have gotten tired of this disaster, we’ll coil up our sympathy and support and throw our nets out into a new bubbling pool that will have become more interesting, but also less tiring (it’s tiring to stay long enough with a problem to come face to face with its complexity…). And nothing will have changed, really.

There must be more sustainable ways to invest our humanity, compassion and helpfulness.

I’m sure there are, but they’re too simple to be glamorous. Too simple to be attractive.

Where do we start? Where do I start?

Okay, let’s get right to the nitty-gritty.

My feeling is that we are gladly abusing disasters of this scale to hide. We’re hiding behind our emotional outbursts of concern and guilt.

What I want to talk about is the vicious circle of guilt and inertia that is one of the major factors in all problems one could think of. I also have the feeling that this reinforcing loop is coming up to be healed at the present time; to be healed in the human consciousness as a whole.

The guilt-pattern is very deeply engraved in human consciousness. It starts off with hidden guilt in our core families, and then moves on to become racial, national, or religious guilt, etc.

Guilt brings us to a crossroad:

Either we choose sacrifice to escape our guilt. We believe we’re good people if we just suffer a little more, or give a little more, to pay back for our guilt.

Or we could choose attack. We’ll try to forget about our guilt and build strong walls of defense, attacking anyone coming close enough to uncover the buried guilt we kept hidden from ourselves.

Either way, guilt gives us an excuse not to move on.

Have you ever felt really really guilty?

I have. And looking closer at my guilt I noticed that it made everything I did much less effective. It made me feel powerless and miserable, while making me believe I was still „doing the best I could“.

For example, I often used to feel guilty because I did not help as much in the household as I thought I should. And when I did help my family, they could feel that my actions were not coming from the heart. For me, it was not about reaching out to them. Quite to the contrary – my secret agenda was to use them to wash myself clean from all the guilt I felt. My actions were not coming from a conscious decision to reach out and open my heart to others, but from a guilt-driven mechanism that made the situation tiring and disappointing for everyone.

My help was not helping them, nor was it nourishing or pleasing. It came from a  feeling of worthlessness, so everything resulting from it was empty as well. I could have spent hours and hours of doing household deeds – the result would have been the same: a weird feeling of dissatisfaction and frustration for everyone involved.

Guilt makes it all about US-US-US. It makes it all about OUR supposed mistakes. Paradoxically, when we’re guilty we feel like good and virtuous people, while we can secretly cuddle up in our little egocentric bubble. This is not a very nice thing to find out about ourselves. But to look it in the eye means that we can make better choices. Choices that will help ourselves and the people in our home called Earth.

Guilt gets us stuck. We do not have to change anything, and still we feel like we’re very virtuous. We’re feeling bad and culpable – so we can’t be so bad after all, right? But this keeps us from looking for the truth and for what we are really called to do – and doing it.

So, back to the many crises we are facing now. I believe that the guilt-inertia mechanism is an important reason why help is quite uneffective in so many problematic areas at this moment. It might be the reason why no substantial changes seem to happen despite a lot of effort.

~*~

I caught myself not being able to look a beggar in the eye some days ago, right after giving some money for Haiti (I have never done that kind of thing before. I do give money to some small organisations of my choice regularly, but this time it felt like giving something spontaneously.)

The  feeling of guilt struck me violently. It was enough to make me think it all over.

I had given money to „help“ Haiti out of guilt, and now I was unable to look a beggar in the face. Whatever I felt guilty about doesn’t matter here. But I had to see that in fact, I had used my guilt to hide from doing what I was in truth called to do.

I felt this morning that the truest action I can take right now is to invest my time in healing the feelings represented by Haiti inside of me. (The money I gave still won’t hurt, I guess).

This is one of my talents, and I offer it to help myself and others.

~*~

Here are a few suggestions:

The biggest problems of our current age are NOT the ones manifesting in the material world.

The biggest problem is that we still are extremely ignorant of our potential to transcend, to overcome COMPLETELY the human condition of separation.

We TALK about being one, BUT WE DO NOT ACT OUR TALK sufficiently yet.

We speak about a global, human consciousness; but we are ignorant when it comes to making use of this knowledge.

This is slowly changing though. Since the „disaster“ of Copenhagen, people have moved closer together. It seems that some topics are no longer the personal mission of a few (young) activists, but have started to concern people from all kinds of social classes and ages (Thanks to the Gingerbread Man for pointing this out to me).

We could be glad that politicians didn’t come to a satisfying solution – so that we won’t have an excuse to lull ourselves to sleep any longer.

This is not so much about finding outer solutions. One reason why politics „failed“ might be to remind us of the power that lies way!beyond! politics in our hearts and consciousness. The solution will be found there – in fact I believe it’s unfolding before our eyes, without us even noticing it, since it just seems so … incredibly unspectacular.

We’re like these activists the Gingerbread Man met in Mexico a few years ago. They were talking the social-injustice-vile-corporations-climate-disaster talk 24/7, while taking 30 minute showers everyday. In Mexico City. In summer. (And quenching their thirst with lots of Coke, if I remember correctly).

If you find yourself behaving like a Coke-drinking-30-minutes-showering activist, don’t fall into the trap of feeling guilty. It won’t get you anywhere. You won’t help make a real difference in the situations that triggered your guilt.

Acknowledge your mistake, and see that it wasn’t a big deal. Ask yourself what you are REALLY called to do.

My guess is that when you follow this true call, your actions will have the power to heal and free parts of your self as well.

But keep in mind that this path might also make you meet a pain you kept hidden for a long time.

It probably won’t be a  piece of cake; nor will it be a path where you feel Love and Light most of the time. But Love and Light there’ll be…

What’s been going on in Haiti (and many other places on the globe) has been INSIDE OUR SELVES all the while. We can transform these qualities right there, inside of us. We can help in two ways – on the physical and the spiritual plane.

You are part of this system, but most of all, the entire planet is part of you.

If you want changes that are sustainable, take ANY problem in the world that touches you, hurts you, makes you angry, or confuses you, and shift from the outer facts to your inside. Transform it inside of you and then share it with the human species.

Do you want to offer some time to connect to the parts of our human consciousness that are miserable, destroyed, confused, treacherous, hopeless, cut, vile, inertial – and were brought to the surface by the events taking place in Haiti (or any other events you feel touched by)?

Can you find these buried qualities inside of you and flood them with love, grace, and the presence of peace?

Can you stay with the pain and embrace it like a hurt child until it has healed fully?

I used to be the worst cynic about this –

but I have seen that the love of a human heart is THE most majestic, glorious and magnificent power we hold in hands. No division, no void, can resist the unifying force of a blessing heart, but often we have to dig and poke to unearth our full strength again.

The biggest veil is doubting our own capacities. Doubt is what makes us wonder how anything we do could ever be helpful.

And we end up doing nothing.

Remind yourself how sometimes a simple gesture had the power to lift you out of darkness, and then offer the same to humankind.

~*~

Will you also connect to the parts of the human consciousness that are full of grandeur, courage, passion, trust, faith, blessings, generosity, wisdom, … and that are coming to the surface through events like the ones in Haiti?

I heard of a woman freed from under the debris after seven days. And the first thing she did when lifted on the stretcher, was to start singing with dirt-crusted eyes:

Do not be afraid of death, do not be afraid of death!

P.S.: I’m keeping her words in mind while preparing myself to delve down into this part of the human being. I’m afraid of the misery I’d might encounter.  But this is what I feel I can do. I’ll keep you updated about this process.

2 Antworten zu “The vicious circle of „guilt and inertia“, and some ideas for taking action

  1. Lily, I stumbled onto your blog like it was destined. You and I seem to be very spiritually connected, because when I read your post I felt like someone was finally able to put down my feelings into words. Even though you are in Germany, and I am all the way in India, we are both lightworkers. We are both awakened. I feel the isolation and pain too – but I also know that i’ve found the secret, and all of us are lucky enough to have done that. This world is so beautiful, our planet is so kind to us, and now we must learn how to be kind to one another. Please email me at debou13@gmail.com. It would be great to have a pen pal to discuss these things with. Love and Light, Debou. Om shanti xo

    Ps. To Eine Antwort: Liberation comes from kindness and loss of ego, both of which can only be accomplished by helping others :)

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