No, this is not about what „the World“ absolutely needs to learn from me.
This is about what „the World“ – which I understand to be the divine Web of Life that includes you, dear reader – has taught me,
and the vows and prayers I want to offer it in return.
In my darkest hour,
when I am besieged by dark angels,
I welcome in bitterness and hate.
I turn to You.
I grit my teeth,
admitting to my love of darkness.
Oh, the pride I take in establishing conditions
on how the river of Life shall flow!
The arrogance with which I tell myself:
It is not arrogance, but my prerogative
to try and trick You into fulfilling my wants!
In this hour I would readily trade the sweetness of Your counsel
for the cunning logic of beguilement.
Left to that, I might turn into a nasty person.
Left to my reason, I might use it to justify my bitterness.
Left to my intellect, I might come to love my sorrow and
the good excuse it offers me to be cruel.
What foolish bargain it is to stick to
the currency of self-pity and denial
when in the silent seat of my heart
You offer me a cornucopia.
But it takes a courage greater than mine
to accept the Hand that feeds.
When I let go of your hand, do not let go of mine!
It takes sacred folly to cease to question
and begin the dance of Life.
Grant me the Grace of Folly.
Only something unreasonable can take me out
of the labyrinths of thought and self-concern.
Grant me the Grace of Courage.
Only true courage will make me lay down my weapons
and reach beyond the walls of reason.
Grant me the Grace of Endurance.
For You love me with endurance,
You love me with passion,
You love me wisely.
Your love knows no measure nor rule.
And no other answer will do:
I vow to be a Lioness,
a Guardian of Peace,
a Protector of Your Sanctuary.
I will be Your spring
as you are mine.
I will breathe my soul into you
as you call me back from the dead.
I vow to uproot my denial,
to leap the abyss of dread,
to cross the deserts of doubt,
again and again,
to love You in return.