Many things have happened – too many maybe – and it threw me a little bit out of balance. No – not my practice! Just me.
So, first, the prospect of being able to become a Yoga teacher (without having to invest fortunes I don’t possess) made me feel very happy, but also very excited. Too excited, perhaps. I found myself (on and off the mat) thinking about how I could explain this or how I would teach that. A lot of chattering in my mind and I had a hard time to quiet myself so I could focus on what I’m doing now and not what I might be doing then.
Second, my period. My practice had to change a little, since Iyengar suggests to skip all the standing poses, and to adjust some other ones to the need of the body. Maybe my hormonal status also explains why I had difficulties to find the concentration needed for Iyengar style, but once I had it – oh wow!!! – revelations upon revelations.
My body has developed more stability. I feel it in the series of Mountain Poses at the beginning of the practice. It’s simple: you’re just standing, but if you do it over and over again, you begin to get an understanding of what „standing“ really means. I’m starting to embody the mountain. I’m also having fun playing around with the lines of energy cruising through my body.
Third, I’ve started with classes again. That might have been the biggest event of the week! It’s not about what we did in class, but about the stream of thoughts triggered by a surrounding that has by now become unusual for me. I’m surprised that I’m not so much learning about alignment and energy work (apparently, my basis is good), but that it’s about my mental attitude towards the teacher and the other students. In general it’s about comparing myself, prejudices etc. etc. Might just be that the studio just isn’t right for me anymore. They are offering „Wellness – Yoga“. That’s good in itself, and I’m not saying Yoga’s not about feeling good. But for me, well – I’m looking for somthing more transformative, something for the people ready to commit.